It’s the first day of 2020. The beginning of a new decade. Before starting a new chapter, it’s good to look at the last chapter first. It’s remarkable how much can happen in ten years, how much a person can change and grow. Do you even remember what your life was like back then? Do you remember yourself?
I had to check my diary for this and I can tell that ten years ago I was a stubborn child. I loved shopping new clothes, playing on a computer and painting my nails. I couldn’t decide which boy in my class I liked the most, and which one of my friends was my ultimate BFF. I thought my sister was annoying. I thought Justin Bieber was annoying. I had a flip phone and dreamed of being a fashion designer.
These days I try to live in a way that is good for the planet and my health. I love one man only and he’s my BFF. I’m more interested in inner growth than making people like me and I try to stay away from any negativity. I dream of many things and I know I don’t have to choose only one career.
I know the person I was a decade ago no longer exists, and the Nora of today will soon be gone too as I grow. I don’t fight it, I look forward to and try to work for it. The best way is to create goals that fit the person I want to become.
People usually make resolutions for the New Year. I like to think of mine as goals I want to achieve. I had a list for last year but I’m not sure how many I got, I got carried away by laziness, lack of motivation, faith and will to live. It happens. I also thought I have time, but I realised that time goes by faster every year. There’s really only time for acting, not thinking. This year I’ll make my goals visible so I’ll never forget about them, and I’ll report about the results next December.
Maybe I will even make a list for the 2020’s. As a 21-year-old the next decade terrifies me. They say it’s the time when I get to explore, find myself, love, fail, think, wander and and fuck up some more. And that’s what I want to do.
When I thought about 2010’s, I felt like I’ve wasted many years doing nothing, when in fact… that’s when I’ve grown the most. In the past ten years I have…
found love, lost loved ones, traveled, played a lot of games, dropped out twice, found my passions, suffered a lot, become a vegan, lost friends, started writing poetry.. I’ve been lonely, sad and lost, I’ve been happy, confident and laughed a lot. I’ve done things I’m proud of and things I’d rather not remember.
I’ve met a lot of people that brought me down and many people that have lifted me higher than the clouds. I’ve learned things the hard way. I have battled an eating disorder, bullies and depression. I have given up many, many times but still got up. I have tried and failed, I have tried and succeeded, over and over. I have written more than ten diaries filled with words of pain and joy. I’ve gone through things I thought I couldn’t handle and yet I’m still here.
I’ve thought about opening a coffee shop, rescuing animals, painting a wall and writing a book. May these things be on my list of goals for this decade.
I guess you never really see how far you’ve come unless you take a look at how many steps there are behind you.
What did your 2010’s look like? And more importantly, what do you want to do in the next decade to come?
My ultimate goal is to live happily, freely and truly.