I’m a year older again, it’s the perfect age of 22. Should we play that Taylor Swift song all year long? As always though, growing older makes me think.
They say “the army turns boys to men”, and it’s often said in a light-hearted way, but it makes me wonder: what is the equivalent for girls? If there is a saying about that too, I don’t think I’ve heard of it. What makes girls turn into women? At what point or age can you comfortably say you’re a woman?
The army is all about doing “masculine” things, so do we become women when we do stereotypically “feminine” things?
When we start dating and wearing high heels, when we get married and have children.. have our families, houses, cars and dogs. But what if we never do? If we never do any of those things, are we left behind somehow – as humans and/or as women?
Or is it about age only? I never felt like a woman when I turned 18 and became an adult by law. I was still very much a girl and was certainly often treated that way too. It’s often said that people of my age are still kids – still so young, innocent and even blind. So I guess it’s not all about numbers.
Maybe a girl’s and woman’s life is like that one Britney Spears song.
“I’m not a girl
Not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I’m in between”– I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman
Maybe we spend a lot of time there “in between” in our 20’s. Or maybe it’s just me, but I have so many questions.
Is maturity a thing you do or something that happens to you? Is it a mindset? How many women are mature anyway? Is it even related to being a woman? Do we ever grow up?
Sometimes I want to watch cartoons, decorate a dollhouse and blow soap bubbles all day and pretend like I have nothing else to do. Sometimes I feel like I’m on the later side of my life and would love to just walk quietly in my quilted skirt, grow my own garden and write down a memoir. Some people make me feel very small, even childish and immature. Some people make me feel wise and well-read, like I’ve seen and been through a lot. Sometimes all this in just one day.
My mom always says she still feels like a little girl, and 100-year-olds say their secret to living that long is to keep a youthful mind. So maybe you should never let go of that little child in you.
I used to think it would be cool to go to the army, but now I know I’d get kicked out fast because of that little rebellious child in me.
The army tries to teach men to become resilient and obey. Is that how you grow up – by learning to live by the rules? Do you become a woman when you keep working a job that you hate, in order to pay the bills? Are you a woman when your responsibility is to take care of the whole household? For sure you’ll feel a million-years-old every evening.
I feel like being a woman can be about gender and age, but it can be an adjective too. A WOMAN is someone who is confident, determined and knows what she wants. It’s something you don’t become by accident, it demands will. It demands attitude. Not all women want to be like that though, and that’s okay too.
Maybe being a woman is different for everyone. Maybe we’re very lucky to live in this day and age because now we get to define it for ourselves. There’s fewer expectations. The shoes that our grandmothers had to fill are no longer there. We can be the type of women we want to be. A businesswoman, a stay-at-home mom or a crazy cat lady – it’s up to us now.
What does being a woman mean to you? Do you think we ever grow up? Tell me in the comments! 🙂