Do you feel like you’re lost and don’t know which way to go? Maybe you have been wondering which career to choose or which school to go to. Maybe you’re thinking about whether you should or shouldn’t break up with your partner, move to another city, start a business, make babies, travel the world and/or volunteer on elephant farms. Don’t know if you really want that or something else and whether you want those things right now or later in life.
Perhaps you must ask yourself what do YOU want now. Might sound like an easy answer and it seems like the obvious first thing you’d do before reading blog texts about it, but have you really, and I mean REALLY, done it? What the fuck do you actually want? You might have been asking that question from other people and lost yourself in the process.
It’s so easy to let the society whisper into our ears what we should be doing at certain points in our life. Then you have your family who have their own expectations for you, so does your potential partner, your friends, cousins, coworkers, neighbours and so on. They might not always say those things out loud. It’s very difficult not to let it affect you if you’re not truly aware of it.
The closer the person, the more they probably have control in what you do. The trick is that in the end of the day, they only have say if you let them. Sometimes these expectations, pressures and barriers are only in your head but seem very real. Are you waiting for a permission from someone, to do what you’ve been dreaming about? Are you your own master, or is it someone else?
Think about these things: what kind of expectations you feel you’re put on and by who, when it comes to finding a partner and starting a family of your own, your education, career, lifestyle, health, looks, money, habits and the way you use your time. Then be honest: what kind of decisions have you made based on them? What are the things you never did because of these expectations?
It’s good to be aware of the expectations that are put on you. After you know they exist but don’t match up with your own true desires, you can let go and say goodbye. It becomes easier to separate them and you’ll notice much earlier when it is someone else taking control in your life and not you. Living life the way someone else wants you to will only drive you nuts. If the noises around you quieted down and only you existed on this planet, what would you want to do?
Maybe you know the answer, maybe you still don’t have a clue. A good way to find out is to just try different things and pick a direction. But how do you know it’s a right direction? It’s only wrong if it feels wrong, otherwise go for it! After that you either know what you want or you know what you don’t. Either way it’s a win – win.
Even if you’re lost and don’t have a plan for your life, it’s okay. Nobody has one, really, and if they do, it will be torn apart and drawn on plenty of times as they keep evolving and changing their mind. YES, you are allowed to do that and hopefully you will, and don’t think about what others have to say about that. If you keep changing your plan, it doesn’t mean you’re not capable of deciding or finishing things, it means you’ve grown and know better now.
Nothing is sealed. You only have to know which direction you want to try next. Whenever you feel lost, let your intuition speak and ask yourself what Oprah once said: “what’s the next right step?”.
Don’t ask for anyone’s permission to live life the way you want.